Michael Jordan

 Who'd believe he was once cut from a team?

Today I am thankful for Michael Jordan.  That is a weird thing to be thankful for I know but allow me to explain.  I like every other person in the world, especially every other American, am incredibly blessed.  I also, like every other person (especially Americans), loose sight of that fact daily.  Sometimes I can't see past my circumstances to realize the truth... that I am blessed, that I am loved.  My perspective is off.

My last blog was about learning to be content in my current circumstances.  It was my attempt at trying to begin to understand what Paul talks about in Philippians 4:11 (only not as serious because unlike Paul I have never been shipwrecked, lost at sea, beaten, stoned, starved, or imprisoned).  However, days later it became clear that I am nowhere close to understanding this lesson as I found myself trapped and disoriented in a negativity avalanche.  A negativity avalanche is when a small negative thought/event/act snowballs and grows into a large amount of negativeness right before hitting you so hard you don't know which way is up or down.  Inside this negativity avalanche people would try to give me Bible verses but it didn't help.  I knew them but I didn't feel them... believe them, or maybe I was just choosing not to.  All I could see was the negativeness that kept me there, frustrated and claustrophobic. I was angry again.  I was bitter again.  I couldn't see outside of the negativity.  I was 26 living at home with no job and it seemed so permanent again.  I was a failure again.  I used to be important, people used to look up to me, respect me... and now this... again.

But God was with me inside of that negativity avalanche.  I was ignoring Him.  I don't know why but I was resenting and resisting Him.  I was comparing myself to others.  That is one of the worst things you can do.  I would always tell my athletes in the weight room not to compare themselves with others.  Only compare yourself with yourself and monitor your own progress.  Other people may have been lifting longer, may be naturally stronger or naturally more gifted at certain movement or skill.  Just do the best you can and quantify your success based off where you came from.  But here I am doing the same thing, pointing at others and questioning God.  I don't even understand my own journey and walk... who then am I to question someone else's?  Who am I to question God?  God has a plan for them and God has a plan for me.  Both those plans are unique to God's divine and ultimate Kingdom purpose.

What does this have to do with Michael Jordan?  Lately I have been cleaning out my house.  Going through closets, drawers, boxes, etc and throwing stuff away.  Yesterday I can across a small newspaper clipping of a picture of Michael Jordan dunking a basketball and a caption that said "Who'd believe he was once cut from a team"  I was reminded of a God who loved me and of the intimate relationship he has with me.  His sovereignty.  Out of all the Michael Jordan posters, magazine and newspaper articles I could have kept... I kept that one.  That God knows I love sports and basketball so that is what He uses to get my attention.  To pull me out of the avalanche he shows me a newspaper clipping that he probably had me keep just to encourage me now.

When you think of Michael Jordan what do you think of?  The greatest basketball player of all time.  One of the greatest athletes of all time.  The tongue.  The shoes.  The mvps, titles, and rings.  The step-back, fade-away jump shots.  And of course the dunks.  Everybody knows the story of Michael Jordan getting cut off his 7th grade basketball team.  But when you think about Jordan you don't remember that... at least I don't.  You forget that his greatness was forged out of trial.  Out of disappointment.  Out of temporary failure.  God reminded me that my situation is temporary and inspired me to do everything I can right now to make myself better.  I will be reading, I will be learning, I will be teaching, and I will be coaching.  I will be working and preparing for the next opportunity I am given.   I will be reading my Bible, praying, and trying my best to walk with my Lord and Savior.

Today I am thankful for Michael Jordan and the God who used a newspaper clipping and his story to remind me of His intimate love and sovereignty.  I am thankful that even when I am ready to give up on myself He doesn't give up on me.  I have put the newspaper clipping on my bathroom mirror.  It might not be scripture but to me it might as well be.

Maybe i lead you to believe it was easy when it wasn't...

Maybe its my fault that you didn't see that failure gave me strength, 

that my pain was my motivation...

The Grass is Always Greener

     It's weird how I always want something more out of life, only to get to a new stage and lose one aspect in hopes of gaining another.  When I was at NC State I was taking hard college classes (for me at least), working long, odd hours in the weight room and spending any spare time I had from work, class, and homework at church, bible study, or with my friends.  I thought if I could just work and not go to school I would enjoy life so much more.  I'd have more time to spend with my friends and going to church related activities.  Then in graduate school at Auburn, I loved working in the weight room with the college athletes but I again couldn't wait to be done with school, however, now I had no church and very few friends.  Then finally I graduated from all school... done! (as far as I know, God willing)  Finally I just have work!  But again no church and no friends.  Waking up at 4:30am Monday - Friday and getting home every night at 6-6:30.  I was exhausted.  I wanted to sleep until my body woke me up.  Now I am here.  In whatever stage you want to call this.  I sleep in everyday until my body wakes me up.  No more nights of 5-6 hours getting up long before the sun and guess what, I hate it.  I hate having nothing to do.  No job, living at home... I feel like a loser.  But I have to enjoy this time.  There are benefits.  I am getting rest.  I have much more time to spend with God, who I wandered so far away from the past 3 years.  I found a church and a bible study that I really enjoy.  I am close to my family (arguably too close) and friends.  I am part of a weightlifting lifting team, which I love and is so much fun. God is showing me a lot.  He is teaching me about Himself and about prayer.  I have time to write people letters and send people emails with Bible verses.  Do I want to get a job... absolutely.  Do I miss my athletes in Auburn... more than they'll ever know.  I think about them everyday.  When I lived in Auburn I was mad because I didn't have a church or church family, but I did have a family in that weight room.  I should have been more thankful for that.  I should have cherished that more.  This blog is very cliche, I know.  But like my uncle jokingly says, "It's not the destination, its the journey."  He is right.  I saw a facebook status from a former athlete of mine that sums up exactly what I am learning.

"Learn to enjoy where you're at on your way to where you're going."

That grabbed my attention.  God brought me here for a reason.  He wants to teach me things, show me things, strengthen our relationship for whatever is next.  God took me to Auburn for a reason.  Or maybe He didn't, maybe I just went, but either way He didn't give up on me and He is still trying to lead me to where He wants me.  I am here.  This is where I am, like it or not.  I've been angry and frustrated enough and it has gotten me nowhere.  It still happens sometimes.  The thoughts and feelings creep back in.  But all those thoughts and feelings profit nothing... I am here.  So while I am here, I should learn to enjoy here... I should learn to take advantage and be thankful for whatever here has.  Because there will be a day, hopefully sooner than I think, that I will not be here.  And there might be something here I miss or wish I still had.

"I will learn to love the skies I'm under"

                          - Hopeless Wanderer           

                                Mumford & Sons

Rachel Rae Barnette (Part II)

Her blog is legit!


http://rachelrae.me/2012/10/24/dear-god-im-mad-at-you/


Check it out!

Circles

      I lay on my back on the floor in the middle of my room.  Thinking, praying.  Open my eyes to see the blur of the ceiling fan above me.  I pick out one singular blade and follow it with my eyes around and around until it hurts my head and then I close my eyes again.  The fan blade going around and around parallels the series of circling questions going round and round in my head.  What does God want me to do?  Proclaim His gospel, show His love.  How does He want me to do that?  Does it even matter?  I wanted to do that through being a strength and conditioning coach.  But I don't know if that's what He wants.  It is one of the few things in life I feel I am good at.  However, during this time without it He has shown me that I made it an idol.  I sought joy and comfort from a job.  I found identity and purpose in a job instead of God.  I'm sorry for that and I am trying to change.  Hopefully this break from strength and conditioning is just that, a break, meaning that I will resume with a more proper perspective.  If it is not a break, then I will seek the Holy Spirit to empower me for whatever else God has in store for this bond slave and I will try to do it joyfully and willfully.  Try is italicized because I am selfish.  But I long to be obedient.  God change me.  Change my heart.  Continue to mold me.  Help me love you more than anything or anyone.  Help me not to make an idol out of anything or anyone.
     In the meantime I don't know what to do.  How do I serve God, here and now.  I've never felt drawn to jobs for money but at the same time I'm an adult, I should be providing for myself and not relying on my parents.  For the past month I've been incredibly lazy and I hate it.  Also, I can't give to the Kingdom of God if I'm not earning anything.  So do I get a job just to have one?  Do I try to volunteer or do something related to field of strength and conditioning?  How do I know which of opportunities God has put in front of me are for me and which are for me to turn down.  I pray that God would reveal what He wants me to do.  Put something on my heart, that I would clearly know it was from Him.  I have passions and desires I feel like can be used for the glory of God but if I am to lay them down I will.  I just want some direction.  I pray that He will give that to me because I don't feel like I am honoring God or spreading His name when I just sit inside my house all day.  I want to be a good steward of my time and my talents.  I hope the Lord will reveal something to me soon because I am starting to go crazy.

Anger and Frustration

i don't get it.  is there something im missing?!  someone please tell me, i want to know.  i feel like im taking crazy pills.  everyone can't keep saying, "it was nothing you did or didn't do."  obviously it was something i did or didn't do because you aren't giving me the job.  at least the last guy called me back.  most people don't have the balls.  already i know im better than you at your job because i have balls, a spine, and character and obviously are in need of all 3.  just by not calling me back you've shown me that im better than you.  why do you have a job?  i cant get a job with a master's degree, 2 certifications, and 8 years of work related experience.  the past 3 years ive been a full time strength coach who got payed part time, yet everywhere i go there's someone with a job that has no master's degree, no certifications, had no experience but they got a job.  so what is it?  you tell me i need experience but i already have it and they have none.  somebody please explain this to me because it makes no sense.  i get up at 4am, i never slept in, i never showed up late, my athletes liked me, any strength coach ive ever worked for liked me... what is it?  if its cause im a white male at least have the balls to tell me that.  if its because im not as good as the other candidate, i want to meet the other candidate, i want to watch the other candidate's athletes train, i want to seem their athletes do cleans, snatches, and squat in the hole.  i don't believe you.  i love my job but i hate my profession.  dinosaurs of the field fall backwards into jobs as the profession began and they are considered gurus.  some are great dont get me wrong, some cant coach and dont know/understand basic physiology.  but they are the pioneers of the field, they have been doing this for 30 years.  just because you have been doing something for a long time does not make you good at it, it is quite possible to do something wrong for a long time... it happens often in this profession.  and why are football strength coaches revered as the best of our field?  they have the easiest job!  football players are already big, strong, and fast.  trying training females, try training athlete who have never lifted before, trying training athletes who participate in a sport where lifting is not part of the culture, trying training a sport where the sport coach doesn't back you and doesn't put an emphasis on lifting... you wouldn't know the first thing.  but you're a football strength coach, you are the best of the best ha.  then you get a job where you have to assist with football and you're in charge of tennis, track, or volleyball and you don't know how to train them.. you call an olympic guy and ask.  they are athletes you incompetent neanderthal!  they are the same as football players, they run, jump, throw, kick, rotate, slow down, speed up, dive, etc... they push into the ground and use their whole body!  its not hard.  but you are the best of the best.  you are also lazy football strength coach.  you think you arent because you work long, unnecessary hours to justify how grossly overpaid you are but you are.  you want nothing more than to rid yourself of every olympic sport you might have to help with.  if they don't play football they arent even athletes.  if you are a female, well them im sorry you were born with such an unfortunate reproductive system.  haha i dont get it! athletes that play volleyball, soccer, swim, dive, golf, softball, etc, etc are people! they are people.  they deserve the same attention and respect.  and to be honest id rather work with them because they are appreciative, tougher, and more hard working than your football player.  yes that is correct, the team you want nothing to do with is the one i would prefer to train.  you dont know how to train them because it requires a plan, progression, knowledge of strength and conditioning, and a fully functional brain.  what they arent already super strong and aggressive, how do you teach them to be that way?  what they have never lifted before and they dont know how to do the exercises, i dont feel like showing them.  there sport doesnt make millions of dollars, no one cares.  not only do you not know how to train them, you don't want to train them... so give them to me.  i want to train them.  i delight in training them.  i love them.  my other favorite is the functional nba strength coach.  you are an athletic trainer that doesnt know how to make gatorade or operate a stim machine.  all you do is rehab exercises.  you know why the letters re are in rehabilitation because those exercises are to get you back to where you were before an injury or surgery... they are not strength training exercises!  no basketball court is made of bosu ball, physioball, or dyna-disc like material... they are all 94ft of flat hard wood... you are not cutting edge, you are an idoit.  the nsca is a joke, the cscca is an even bigger joke.  if i made a parody of what the cscca is it would fail in comparison to the hilarity of the real thing.  both good intention, both a far cry from what this profession needs to be respected.  its ok to set the standard high.  but some people might not pass.  yea thats the point.  except in this profession a lot of those people who wouldnt pass are considered gurus and giants of the field and that might embarrass them.  they might not feel smart and powerful and cocky and arrogant anymore. tell me that i need experience... its a good thing i have 8 years worth.  tell me education is important... you are lying to yourself and everyone else... how many strength coaches have an undergraduate degree that would allow them to apply to med school?  how many have taken 2 quantum chemistry classes, 2 organic chemistry classes, biochemistry, 2 physics, genetics, human anatomy, human physiology, 2 biology classes, 5 nutrition classes?  how many coaches don't have masters degrees?  there are always strength coaches without master's degrees... if i need education and i have it and they don't have it, how do they have a job and i dont?  am i high on some kind of drug?  please what am i missing?  call my references.  call any person i have EVER worked with or for.  ask anything you want.  how many people can say that.  call any person ive ever worked with or for and ask them anything you want and i guarantee they will tell you i did a good job, they will tell you i worked hard, they will tell you to hire me, they will genuinely, honestly endorse me.  what am i missing?  i can't get a job and its infuriating.  i cant prove that im better than anyone.  athletes are freaks.  it almost doesn't matter what you do, as long as they think they are getting better and you dont hurt them.  i can back my training philosophies up with science, can you?  go out and flip some more tires, look at the crossfit wod to get some ideas... maybe you should do more trx, i heard from an nba strength coach that trx is really good.  whatever you do, don't tell people to squat below 90 degrees of knee flexion, dont tell people to pick heavy objects off the ground, accelerate them violently and using speed, kinesthetic awareness, balance, stability, mobility, and athleticism catch them at the shoulder or overhead. dont do plyos or lift overhead or work on single leg strength.  dont keep things simple and consistent while at the same time challenging the athlete with load.  DO NOT DO THAT.  it will only make your athletes stronger, more powerful, more coordinated, and more athletic... but it will NOT get you a job.  so keep using your sledge hammer, board bench, quarter squats, chains, bands (the more the better i say), trx's, physioballs, bosu balls, dyna discs, and always remember to do as many forearms and floor abs as time will allow because nothing screams athleticism like lying on your back, contorting your neck, while trying to fold yourself in half.  i used to have passion and enthusiasm, now all i have is anger and frustration... in heavy doses.

(sorry the quality is poor but this is how i feel inside)

i know this blog is cynical, sarcastic, and negative but i few minutes ago i was thinking about just typing a string profanities in all caps.  i know thats a bad attitude but its the one i have right now and this is cleansing to me.  i am getting it all out so i can move on.  i hope and pray that God will change me so in the future a comparable event will not shake me but for right now that is not the case.  i may not be right in behaving this way, i may not be godly, but i am at least being honest and real.  im upset. i poured my heart and soul into something for the past 8 years and no one will let me do it.  i cant describe my frustration in words.

Rachel Rae Barnette

I think it was Spring of 2009 the last time I worked with Rachel.  She was a member of NC State's women's soccer team and she was transferring to Cincinnati.  She asked if she could still train in the weight room and if I would be willing to help her.  I remember she was tough and that she worked really hard.  She didn't shy away from anything.  We kept in touch sparingly after she left because we shared the same passion for strength and conditioning.  Recently she had been posting Bible verses and things about God on her facebook account, which I found encouraging.  Last week I received a mass email from Rachel notifying everyone that she would be joining a mission trip called the World Race.  She has a blog and when I read it I knew that she was changed.  It was so exciting to read and hear how on fire for God she is and how much she is ready to go out and love on people.  I am attaching her blog and her World Race page below.  I hope you will consider donating some money to her, even if it is $5.  I have raised money like that before and every little bit really does matter.  No amount is too small.  But if you don't feel called to give, I hope at the very least you will pray for her and her teammates and they go out to spread and glorify the name of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ in 11 different countries.

Rachel's Blog
http://rachelrae.me/

Rachel's Word Race Site
http://rachelbarnette.theworldrace.org/

What I Was Trying to Say

     I can't remember the last time I cried before I said goodbye to you, it has been years.  I honestly didn't anticipate getting so choked up.  It made it hard to remember everything I wanted to say, I guess I needed notecards or a powerpoint presentation because I'm not very good off the cuff.  I didn't even really get a chance to say goodbye to women's tennis.  So to all my athletes at Auburn here is what I meant to tell to you when I was leaving:

     I have thoroughly enjoyed working with you all over the past few years.  You have been a joy to coach and I have enjoyed getting to know you and see you develop as a person.  Before I leave I want to make sure you realize a few things.

     First, you have an amazing opportunity comprised of several opportunities.  You have the opportunity to play a sport in college, how awesome is that?  Think about how excited the 12 year old version of yourself would have been to find out they were going to compete in the SEC for Auburn in their sport.  Take a step back and try to reflect on how awesome the opportunity you have is.  Try to bring that child-like enthusiasm with you everyday.  Don't ever let this opportunity become mundane or ordinary because it is anything but that.  Take advantage of every chance you have to become a better athlete whether its meeting with the nutritionist, athletic trainer, working with the strength coaches, or in practice.  Work hard and never become complacent.  There is always something else you can do to become better.
      Also, you have the opportunity to obtain a college degree in an area of your choosing.  You can find something that you are interested in, something you are passionate about... something you enjoy doing.  Work hard in the classroom.  Pay attention in class, don't text or get on facebook, you can do that later.  If you are in class listen, read, and write... if you do that, you will spend less of the time you have outside of class studying because you heard the material the first time.  If you are in an easy class, don't skip... attend and try to learn.  If it still isn't worth your time, and I know sometimes it isn't (I've been there), use it as a study hall to do work for a more difficult class.  Challenge yourself in the classroom the same way you would in practice or the weight room.  Education is an important opportunity, find something you love and learn as much as you can about it.
     Maybe the most important opportunity of all is the opportunity you have to be part of a team.  Look around at your team, people from all over the country... all over the world, people from all walks of life who have put aside their differences to achieve a common goal.  It is a family.  The relationships you build with your team will last a lifetime.  Your teammates will help you and challenge you as an athlete and as a person.  Learn from them, encourage them, help them, and love them.  Because they are more family than friends, remember that there will be times when you don't get along and thats ok as long as their is an underlying root of mutual respect and love.  Don't be caddy, petty, or mean, and don't hold grudges.  Listen and learn; forgive and forget.  Think about where you would be in your sport if you trained alone without your teammates to push you.  The team is ultimately yours, not your coach's, not your trainer's, not your strength coach's... yours.  It is going to go where you take it, so accept responsibility, believe in each other, and battle with each other.  Build relationships and make memories that you will cherish forever.
     Keep in mind opportunities are not guarantees.  You can't just show up and expect to get better and build relationships, it takes hard, intentional work and a good attitude.  Take full advantage of every opportunity you are given.

     Second, I believe that sports exist and are popular for 2 reasons... one of those reasons is they develop character.  I don't care where it happens, it could be in practice, in competition, in the weight room, on the team bus but I hope that you learn something through sports that makes you a better person.  I hope this has already happened but if it hasn't I pray that it happens soon.  I hope that through your participation in sports you develop or improve on a quality (such as respect, focus, discipline, leadership, work ethic, teamwork, consistency, responsibility, relentlessness, selflessness, etc) that makes you a better employee/employer, husband/wife, mom/dad, overall person.  I hope you have learned or will learn something that you can apply to life, something that you will take with you and share with others, something that makes you a better person.  I think sports are a great way to learn about yourself, learn from others, and become a better person.  The second reason I believe that sports exist is because they are fun.  Why did you start playing in the first place, to get a college scholarship?  I doubt it.  I bet you wanted to participate in whatever sport you play now because it was fun and you liked it.  I hope you still do.  I hope you always do.  I know its probably not possible to love it everyday but overall you should be having fun.  I think you can have fun working hard, pushing yourself, and being challenged by your coaches and teammates.  Its ok to laugh and smile while giving it your all.  If it isn't fun, why are you doing it?  Why are you wasting so much time and energy if there is no joy or satisfaction?  You could be doing other things, focusing on school, spending time with friends, doing internships, working, or partying.  If at the end of the day you aren't having fun then don't waste your coach's time, your teammate's time, or your own time.  Do things with passion and enthusiasm or don't do them at all.  Now, how do you keep it fun?  How do you keep it from becoming a job or a chore?  Try to keep in mind that it is supposed to be fun.  Remind your teammates and yourself.  Encourage your teammates and celebrate with them when they/you achieve individual or team goals.  Work hard to keep a proper perspective, its just a game.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that you should be lazy or not try very hard but what I am saying is keep in mind that there are more important things in life (God, family, friends, etc).  Try to find balance in your life (this balance will be different for each individual).  Make time for some type of hobby outside of school and athletics where your mind and body can go and rest.  Go to church, read your Bible, pray, go for walks, volunteer, paint, play music, journal, join an economics club, or some other extracurricular activity.  Take the emphasis off of your life, your struggles and focus on someone else.  Make friends with athletes on other teams who understand your life style but won't be talking about the sport you compete in all the time.  Make friends with people that don't play sports at all.  Have conversations about things outside of school and athletics.  Become a well rounded person.  I know that your time is scarce but try to do the best you can to manage it so that you can occasionally have time to rest.  I bet you'll find having a mental outlet away from school and athletics helps you become more refreshed during practices instead of feeling burnt out.

     Finally, remember that athletics are a part of your life, they are not your life.  Don't create a life that revolves around sports.  Don't let sports and your success in them become your identity.  Your sport is something you do, not who you are.  You are not a swimmer, a diver, a tennis player, or a volleyball player... you are a person who swims, dives, plays tennis or volleyball.  Your self-worth is not in a win or loss, a time, or a score.  And while you should strive to become the best athlete you possibly can, keep in mind that its just a part of who you are and it is supposed to be fun!  One day your athletic career will be over and you should miss competing, practices, and being around teammates but you should be able to cope.  It shouldn't be the end of the world, it should be an exciting time in your life to pursue other interests.  I pray that you would find your identity in Christ because that relationship can never be taken from you (Romans 8:38-39).

     I ramble a lot so if you made it this far I want to end by saying something to you that you said so many times to me and that is... thank you!  Thank you for giving me the opportunity to be a part of your lives.  Thank you for being appreciative.  Thank you for making my job fun.  Thank you for making me laugh and brightening my days.  Thank you for helping me to grow and improve as a coach and as a person.  Thank you for being the reason that I love my job.  As you may know I love squats, snatches, cleans, pullups, and yes even inchworms but I love you more.  I hope you already knew that without me telling you, but in case you didn't, I love you.  I will miss you more than you'll probably ever know or understand.  We are family.  You are all my younger brothers and sisters.  That's why I made fun of you, thats why I picked on you, and that's why I got so sad leaving you.  But I think thats a good thing, it would have been bad to be able to leave without feeling anything.  It would have meant the time we spent together wasn't important and we didn't develop a meaningful relationship, but that clearly wasn't the case, at least not on my end.

     In closing, I'm very proud of you, I love you, and I'll miss you.  Good luck this season.  I wish you the best of luck with the rest of your time at Auburn both on and off the court, in and out of the pool.  I will be cheering you on from afar.  I hope that you have the best, most amazing experience as a college athlete.  I hope you learn and grow as an athlete but more importantly as a person.  Don't be afraid of failure, its a merely an indicator of where you are at that time.  Remember there are no bad practices, there are just some practices where you realize you haven't reached your full potential yet.  No matter what the score or situation is, don't ever give up, keep battling with your team until the end.  I hope you leave this campus as a stronger athlete and stronger person than when you arrived.  Please keep in touch and let me know where you end up and what you are doing when your time at Auburn is done.  If there is anything I can ever do for you or you ever need someone to talk to, someone to listen, somebody to remind you that its just a game and there's a bigger picture, or just want to keep in touch and let me know how you are doing... don't hesitate to email me, text me, or call me.  God has a plan for your life (Jeremiah 29:11) and I can't wait to see where you end up going and what you end up doing.

Your #1 fan,

Alex

cell: (252) 717-9608
email: alexlee42@gmail.com
skype: alex_lee42